Alright, so I was born and raised in the US, my dad's side I discovered is Nigerian (they all live in New York, whereas I live in Ohio, and my dad never told me much of them) and my family on my mom's side is from somewhere east Africa but idk any family history. I also have a lot of extended family from Eritrea, who I grew up with.
I also work with a lot of people from all over the world, of which many of them are mainly Somali, Ethiopian or Eritrean, Algerian and Moroccan, and some from the West, as far as African people go.
But to the point, I grew up around this and I've learned way more culturally and historically starting back during my freshman year of hs over 7 years ago now. At work for a while, in restaurants and festivals, international stores, etc., I feel like I always get these odd looks like I'm just some usual "Tyrone", bc I am light skinned and people always have to "discover" my background.
My grandma on my dad's side, iirc, is afro-latina, and his dad was lighter skinned too, and ok my mom's side my grandma is lightskinned as well, but we have no whites in our family. I actually got my DNA studied from 23andme to learn some things and discovered, to no surprise, I have a British ancestor some time around 300-400 years ago. So basically, I don't look "mixed" but I'm high yellow for sure.
But anyway, for instance there was one day I had just started this job recently and my trainer is Ethiopian, she was super surprised when she saw me eating injera at lunch and then next thing I know, literally an entire table of Ethiopian women are staring at me and saying things, giggling, some giving odd looks.
Before this type of stuff, everyone assumes I'm a mixed African-American, and subconsciously probably think I know very little of Africa. I feel like for a long time I've had to justify myself or try to prove something to make conversation or be looked at the same. It also does not help that, for example, I can't speak Amharic or Tigrinya either, even tho I grew up around native speakers.
And I've experienced, let's say attitudes, that show this. Like I walk into a spot to get some jollof and these mfs look at me like I'm an alien, or a white man in a dashiki. I have a lot of Somali friends at my job but a few of the others often looked confused at me if I'm sitting here eating sambusas and halwa with them lol.
So what I'm trying to say is, embarassingly I'm kind of discouraged to visit Africa once I get the time and money to do so bc if I've been treated all these weird and sometimes rude ways in America bc I don't really "look the part". I'd probably look like a colonizer the moment I step foot on African soil. Like I just imagine walking around Lagos speaking English like a pure American tourist.
I never thought deeply about this as a kid bc, for one I was just an ignorant child, and two bc it was a matter of family and I never really stepped out into a social environment before where I wasn't "familiar" to people. I can't say it's stopping me from traveling but it kind of works my nerves and makes me anxious.